PUSSY-KAT

I HAVE MOVED

2011-05-25T00:19:00.003+08:00

http://geojitmal.blogspot.com/

BECAUSE I LOVE THEM SO

2010-10-03T22:51:00.000+08:00

2010-10-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

After installation meeting

BRUNO MARS

2010-10-03T22:32:00.000+08:00

I love him a lot. His voice is just.. iuytrdsxcfvbnjm

PROPER UPDATE

2010-09-27T19:51:00.005+08:00

Okay I'm done with all the photos. That's pretty much a little inside of what I've been up to lately.

Life's been okay. A little stressed out now with all the chaos that exams has brought in my life. Social life has been decent. I've been slacking in it though, haven't been updating my FB, Twitter and Tumblr that frequently. Blame exam!

Raya's coming to an end. Honestly mine has been pretty dull but that's okay. Gotta move on with life, ey?

Ok ok I'm kinda in a rush. Update more when I'm free, mmkay?

IZZAT'S OPEN HOUSE

2010-09-27T19:47:00.000+08:00

But they don't know what I know

2010-09-27T19:42:00.000+08:00

HAI MY NAME IS AMALINA JAYARI

RIFAI'S OPEN HOUSE

2010-09-27T19:34:00.000+08:00

HAPPY RAYA!

2010-09-27T19:27:00.000+08:00

This was during my small small open house the other day.

GOOD READS I FOUND

2010-09-27T19:20:00.000+08:00

BALIK KAMPUNG

2010-09-26T13:03:00.000+08:00

On my way to balik kampung to Sandakan. Mount Kinabalu. Mesmerising..

PROM DRESS

2010-09-26T13:00:00.000+08:00

I was just trying this on the other day fo fun. I thought that it is nice but my friends were like, THIS IS FRIGGIN NICEE YOU BETTER BUY THIS MAL. But when I check the shop back, it wasn't there anymore. Bummer.

I'm actually not malay

2010-09-26T12:58:00.000+08:00

KITTY PURRY

2010-09-26T12:54:00.002+08:00

At some petshop near Foh Sang. I've been wanting a cat since forever but my mum wouldn't let me. She's got a point there, me and responsibility doesn't get along very well.

CLASS PHOTO

2010-09-26T12:50:00.002+08:00

4S2 class of 2010. Spot me!

Navy trip

2010-09-26T12:48:00.001+08:00

So this was when I followed Stacey's class trip to the navy base. That was a huge opportunity cause not everyone can get in there. We were able to though cause a few of my schoolmates are navy sons and they actually live there in the navy base. I was on Hanafi's dad half-battleship from German.

Hey guys!

2010-09-26T12:39:00.000+08:00

It's been forever since I last update this thing. As they say, pictures say a thousand words so I'ma let the pictures do the talking about what have I been up to lately.

RING LOVER

2010-09-26T12:35:00.000+08:00

2010-07-19T05:07:00.000+08:00

A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other…Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever

SHISHA

2010-07-19T04:55:00.003+08:00

The night I went to shisha for the first time. I always hear these stories about first time smoking and first time shisha, and most of them choked and stuffs like that. I was actually quite pro for my first time shisha!

MAHATHIR

2010-07-19T04:48:00.002+08:00

I miss you, Mahathir. It's been only a week and I miss you already. I don't know why and it really is bothering me a lot. I guess it's maybe because of the one month pretend boyfriend thing. It's fun pretending, people actually thought we were together and for those who actually knew the truth, the actually want to see us together, not pretending, but in a real relationship.

I somehow felt guilty having a new boyfriend. I know it's stupid, but I just feel.. guilty. Ugh this is pathetic. I'm pathetic. And I miss you lots..

2010-07-18T21:35:00.002+08:00

From top left, Maroline, Marco, Mahathir, me, Nickly

From bottom left, Joyce, Saidatul, Iffa, Dylan

This was during 7K. I miss this night. This was Mahathir's last night in KK. We had fun. Lots of fun. I love you guys to bits.

Joyce & I

2010-07-18T21:31:00.000+08:00

We can't pretend

2010-07-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

BREAK UP

2010-06-29T22:34:00.002+08:00

Hey guys. It's been forever since I last updated. Mainly because I didn't have the mood and I was obligated and occupied with Tumblr.

A lot has happened ever since I posted my last post.

I am no longer with Russell. We broke up 2 days after our 20th monthsary, that's all I'm spilling. I know this is a personal page, but he orders me not to spill anything and I think as his ex, I gotta respect that.

And as for the photo below, I'll just keep it as a memory. I am the kind of girl that keeps stuffs. I'm not the one who would burn his pictures, tear all the papers about him, delete all our pictures together, no. I still keep those, it's been 2 weeks and I still have our pictures together.

I guess, I don't want to forget everything that happened between us two. It's been a bittersweet ride for both of us and I don't want to forget that. I think the reason I'm doing this is because, it didn't hurt. The breakup didn't hurt one bit.

And to be frank, I've been happier ever since. A friend of mine said that he's been holding me up but, no. I think it's just a coincidence that everything falls into the right places right after the breakup. Pure coincidence.

I'm happy. I am one happy girl.

RUSSELL ARCHIBALD GOH

2010-06-08T21:13:00.001+08:00

Happy monthsary, I love you. Lets make another 20 months together, muax

Football rant

2010-06-07T15:28:00.006+08:00

So football season is on, it's basically everywhere right now. Fifa World Cup 2010 will start in a few days and god, what a wait. Four years has gone and I still remember being a Standard 6 student watching the final match, teehee. God bless Italy's goalkeeper.

So this year, I'm rooting for Brazil. There's one reason why..

Kaka! Can you just look at him! For you I will, babe.

Besides Brazil, I'm also rooting for Spain, yes and also Portugal. Can't wait for the match to start! Teehee.

SEMESTER BREAK! YEAH YEUR? NOT!

2010-06-07T15:15:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!

Sorry for the hiatus, I never really have the mood to update my blogger, sorry! Well, I see the visit counter has gained more and more readers so I decided to start updating.

Semester break has officially started! Sadly, it wasn't something that I was looking forward to, really. Semester break only means staying at home babysitting my sister and getting yelled at everyday, like the previous years. So yeah.

I really have nothing planned, except for movie days with my friends and scout's camp later this week. The second week of semester break, I'll be having extra classes so screw that. So boring this break! Blah!

ME & LAW VUII

2010-06-07T15:08:00.000+08:00

Heart's Content

2010-06-05T15:31:00.000+08:00

I need you in my life.

I realise that without you, living life is almost impossible. I couldn't afford losing you and the other day, we got so close to ending it. What happened? It's our fault. Ego and pride. We let those get in the way. I know I'm the wrong one, the bad one and I can't help but wonder, why are you still with me?

I guess the power of love is strong.

I tried one day thinking about my life without you. It'll be awful. Everything in my life involves you or reminds me of you. My blog, yeah, my blog is pretty much my name. Micheromio is the name you gave me. Everything from my blog, twitter, email, every internet social website account. It's all micheromio and I think that's already my identity, people know me by that name.

My pencil case, it has your picture. My purse, it has your picture. My table my closet my pencil case, your pencil case, I have your pencil case with me, when we traded the other day do you remember? And much much more. It's just.. ugh I don't think the post breakup will be peaceful cause everything I have reminded me of you.

This is hard. We are hard. But yeah we made it through once. We can make it through again. I love you.

FIRE

2010-06-05T15:25:00.000+08:00

I could be chasing but my time would be wasted

2010-05-30T21:51:00.002+08:00

I wish I could read people's mind. I want to read your mind cause you boy, is unpredictable. You're complicated. One minute you're like this, and the next, you transform and become this person that I barely know.

You changed a bit, yeah I notice. It's like, you started caring again and I was sort of, taken aback by that. In a good way, that is. I don't know what brings you to change all so sudden but I'm glad, cause I missed you dearly. For a moment there, I was happy.

I hope this last for at least a week. Might sound ridiculous but hey, there's no danger in hoping now isn't it?

Hayley Williams

2010-05-29T07:45:00.001+08:00

REALITY

2010-05-28T18:03:00.002+08:00

The thing I afraid the most is slowly coming to reality.

Here's the thing. I have never really grasp the concept of friends not wanting the other friends to like or love them cause they're afraid their strong friendship would be jeopardize if the relationship doesn't work. But now, I do.

It took me years to understand, and only seconds to experience. How powerful. But still, haven't got it figured out completely. It's just still an assumption and I know at this point, I don't even have the rights to make one. But what she said and what he did, it actually make sense.

I should just shrug this off and wait and see for what happens next. It wont be too bad, wouldn't it? A little drama and adventure in ones life won't hurt too much.

What's not to love, other than my intense moodswings?

2010-05-28T17:42:00.000+08:00

Happy Wesak Day to all Buddhist

2010-05-28T17:23:00.004+08:00

It's time for a regular update!

Fuck you school, for extending our school days instead of opting to have mercy on us and let us have that blissful three weeks holidays like the other schools are having.

SO. NOT. FAIR.

Official exam results are out and I am not satisfied with number 6 in the class. I feel like stabbing myself in the eyes when I saw that digit. I, officially hate number 6. Whats worse is that mum's not around cause she's in Jakarta, which leads to improper eating habit for 5 days.

But that's actually a good thing, since with mum's absence, I can happily online and watch tv and laze around without getting yelled at every second. Thumbs up! Hope mum's gonna buy me some good bargain from there, crossing fingers.

I want to watch Prince of Persia. Maybe tonight if dad lets me. Boyfriend asked me to come to KDCA for that ISCEP thing, but it's also at night and I don't thing my dad would let me. Plus, I don't even know what's that thing all about.

IU day is within weeks and preparations have yet to be done! What's up with my seniors! Have they not remember the failures we had on last years' IU? Cause I remember it vividly. I obviously can't do anything cause last year I wasn't in the board members list and this year, I'm only the juniors, seniors makes all the decisions. Ugh.

So yeah. That's my life mushed into a few paragraphs. Till then, xx

Nine in the afternoon

2010-05-26T21:28:00.000+08:00

Thing to accomplish/do before I finish Form 5

2010-05-24T15:19:00.000+08:00

1. Pee in Lok Yuk boys toilet

2. Have the guts to drop Physics

3. Drive a car safely with at least 2 people in the car to any destination that’s within at least 20 km from my house.

4. Say hi at least once to all my Facebook friends

5. Actually learn how to swim and ride a bicycle

6. Actually get an A for add math

7. Sleep with boyfie, not have sex, just.. sleep. Nothing can beat waking up in the morning next to the one you love.

8. Outing and go home at midnight with parents’ knowledge (hmm I guess that would be a little impossible to accomplish)

9. I’ll edit this if I have any idea..

You want a piece of me

2010-05-23T15:20:00.000+08:00

I'll love you with a knife

Good, good friend

2010-05-23T12:27:00.003+08:00

So I have this friend named Dylan. He's quite close to me, yeahup. And the irony to that is, I used to hate him early last year because, well, he did something that I didn't like.

It's amazing how close we got within less than two years and now, he's the closest boy to me after my boyfriend. The way we bonded may seem weird, too weird to even mention it here but I'm actually glad we bonded you know, not necessarily the great way to bond, but still.

I don't know why I want to talk about this all of the sudden. And what's ironic is that most of the friends I have now, they are among the ones I used to hate before. Heh.

Anyways, I love you guys. Friends make me happy!

I could really use a wish right now

2010-05-21T21:17:00.000+08:00

Cause I'm like a burden

2010-05-19T22:55:00.003+08:00

You couldn't possibly be mad at me cause I'm not mad at you. I changed. Yes, I do change but who doesn't? Tell me now, now tell me how to not change. If you have the answer can you please tell me cause for years I've been searching for the perfect answers but I just couldn't, I just couldn't find it.

I know I've been changing negatively but I'm already penetrated deep inside. I've said this a lot and I'm gonna say this again, I tried and I've been trying. You just don't know that. Nobody really believed me and they believed you instead and I guess that made sense because I'm the bad guy all along. I don't know, it is as if you're expecting and you want my life to be all about pleasing you. At least that's what I felt.

I do not feel any form of hatred towards you but you on the other hand is like feeling this ball of negative energy towards me. I actually don't know how it happened. Nobody knows. I don't think you do too. And now because of that, everybody's pulling apart. The only one that used to be close is also pulling apart. I think if you read this, you know who you are. It's like, whenever I see you with them, your eyes twinkle and your mouth starts to curve and you feel.. happy with them. And when you're with me, we don't even have anything to talk about anymore. On certain occasion, we would but mostly we wouldn't. Cause it just doesn't feel the same anymore.

I have new friends. Every body's got new friends. I didn't forget you guys. The reason I'm always with the so called new friends is because, I feel like, without me you guys will be a lot happier and with me, they're happier. It's like a winwin situation. I feel like a burden whenever I'm with you guys, and that, I've been working on that for five months already.

I didn't forget you guys. I didn't.

Lost in the sea of lies

2010-05-19T22:49:00.001+08:00

Until the day my life is through, this I promise you

2010-05-19T22:33:00.002+08:00

Hey. Another tiring week. I guess life before and after exam has no difference at all.

Exam results are out already and they're all epic fails. Not that I fail all, I only failed Accounts which isn't even supposed to be in Science stream cause the principal just wants us to have a backup plan in case we cannot manage science stream. Heh. Got 45%, blegh I just need 5 more to pass. So much careless mistakes.

Things to look forward to.. hmph. Holidays? I'll only have one week of holiday instead of three like the other schools. The rest are filled with extra classes! Seriously, they're really throwing me off the edge of my sanity. That's just not fair. Most of my friends are having triple the holidays I'm having.

But then again, what's fair anymore?

Other than that, IU day preparation. We'll be doing France this year. Hope it won't be a total failure like last year when we did Korea. Me and Joyce have already pictured everything in our head, we just need teacher's green light and also the rest of the board members' approval.

I shall write more when I have more to say.

Without you in my life baby, I just wouldn't be living at all

2010-05-16T17:17:00.002+08:00

So, I've had a pretty rough day the other day.

Crying really makes it all better. I cry a lot because it makes me feel better. It's like, those tears wash away your problems temporarily. People say there's no use crying, well I would think the opposite. My belief is probably the reason why I cry a lot.

One month. One month is a long time to go on without you. But I survived. Heh, sometimes I can't believe I survived. And with the fight that we had, I really was convinced that we couldn't make it. And it happened. The first few minutes was manageable. I was down, but I was under control.

And then I burst. Cried like tomorrow's the end of the world. It's like the world is crumbling and that's when I realise that what my friend said last 2 years ago was true. There's just too much memories, too long to just let it all go. I can't. I can't believe that you can.

The phone call we had made it even worse. Your voice made me melt more. One month without hearing that voice was hell. At that point I cried, I cried to the point that I couldn't breathe anymore, I was suffocating and you were there on the other end of the line, waiting patiently for me to stop. All you said was 'don't cry, why are you crying'

And then you said that three words. Three words that meant everything to me. Three words that made it all so convenient. My heart melted again like how it did three years ago when you first said that to me. I love you, I know it's hard for both of us to let go. I know it's hard for both of us to forget it all just like that, 20 months is long, long to just let it all disappear.

I'm glad and I love you still.

Swagga like us

2010-05-16T17:06:00.001+08:00

2010-05-12T18:27:00.001+08:00

The real lover is the man that can thrill you by kissing your forehead

Can't make up my mind mind mind mind mind, sorry to waste your time time time time time

2010-05-09T18:11:00.003+08:00

I'm not getting any signal that I'm the one he's talking about. So I'm left disappointed, which is super ridiculous to even say the word, because I have never been in his life! So it couldn't possibly be me! So, who's the girl he's talking about? Ugh I'm so curious.. I want to ask him but then I'll come off as desperate busybody woman.

Why? Part of me want to get this feeling away, part of me doesn't want to. Well because.. he's so perfect already but, he's not for me. Which is a total bummer. Why am I ranting! Ugh.. I have better things so worry, like Physics and Chemistry and such.

But those are far from important. I mean, even if I fail those, I'll still be safe in this world I think, cause none of my job interests revolves around these complicated science subjects. It's just what I'm forced to do, and sort of my back up plan in the future. But I don't wanna be a doctor or architect or engineer! I hate those.

Ahh.. life. When will it be easy.

Please don't waste my time time time time time

2010-05-09T17:46:00.001+08:00

If she holla, if if, if she holla let her go

2010-05-09T17:43:00.000+08:00

I'm in love with oversized tees!

Misery Business - Paramore

2010-05-07T21:36:00.003+08:00

Oh I never meant to brag, but I got him where I want him now. Woah it was never my intention to brag, to steal it all away from you now. But god does it feel so good, cause I got him where I want him now. And if you could then you know you would, cause god it just feel soooo, it just feel so good..

Ni yi wei ni hen ke ai la?

2010-05-07T21:29:00.001+08:00

Because I don't want to

2010-05-04T20:02:00.003+08:00

I don't want you to smoke. I don't want to go out at night without any reasonable reason cause that alone will lead to another bad habit. I don't want you to follow your jackass friends. I don't want you to be like them. I don't want you to start acting like you so fly, like doing all those stuffs are cool. I don't want you to change. I don't like you acting like that, practicing those habits. It makes me love you less and I hate that..

I'm sorry. You did this.

2010-05-03T20:38:00.002+08:00

My Formspring page blasted with haters comments

BREAK IT OFF

2010-04-28T18:15:00.003+08:00

It's not fair. It's not fair. It's just not fair! I don't like her and why must you go with her. Can't you just find a decent girl or a poised one or something! It's not fair. Okay maybe it is fair, it is after all your life and not mine.

But can't I just be selfish for a while? I don't do that very often. Seeing you both makes me sad, which is ridiculous because it's obviously not my business but I just can't help it ugh I just can't. You, can do better. You can do way better. There is a lot of girls out there, a lot of pretty girls, pretty in both inside and out. Just, break it off with her.

Ulterior motive is making me off the edge of my sanity.

2010-04-28T15:45:00.001+08:00

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed, sing like bird dizzy in my head, spin like a record crazy on a Sunday night.. You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe, shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild.. Ohh, you make me smile

2010-04-28T15:44:00.000+08:00

For some reason I like my hair here hehehe

2010-04-28T15:30:00.001+08:00

My Katy Perry nail. It's a bit messy, okay it's pretty messy heheh.

WASSUP?

2010-04-28T15:09:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!

I've decided to take this blog seriously, as in, updating it as regularly as I can. I missed Blogger, mainly because Blogger has a more personal feeling, rather than Tumblr, which is quite public.

Not feeling that well these days. First off, it's exam season. Two weeks of excruciating self-devotion to books and only books. But of course me being well, me, there is no possible way for me to devote myself to books. Reference books. Text books containing hundreds and hundreds of useless formulae. No. No way. Don't even remind me about the everything is possible quote. Because it's not.

On top of that, as if I'm not miserable enough, I'm also having personal problems. The timing is just not right. It's kinda between me and my boyfriend. I don't know what's wrong, he seems like giving up and I don't. 1 year and almost 7 months is just too long a period to just.. give up. I think we're okay now. Okay well screw it. We're not. Not okay. I'm sad.. but the sad thing is I couldn't afford to be sad and emo because well, I have books to read!

I love you, please don't give up xx

2010-04-27T17:40:00.000+08:00

I'm not your baby doll

2010-04-26T21:16:00.002+08:00

I'm pissed. Very. So pissed that I couldn't interpret it in words, I don't think there is any possible word that can precisely describe what I'm feeling right now. Pissed is not anywhere near it.

The thing is, I've been patient. I've been very very patient. I'm always the one who is always forgiving, not forget, no, I rarely forget, but I do forgive. It's like what I do best. Maybe I will be mad for a few days, or maybe for a few hours, or maybe even a few minutes but I never, never, I'm emphasizing the word never and I'm very certain about this, I never not forgive.

But this time, I don't know why, maybe it's because of my enraging hormones, I'm maybe invisibly PMS-ing because I'm not having my period now, or maybe it's because of my not much left patience. Cause I've been a patient girl. This time, I don't think I'll be that again.

I don't think you understand this post. And I'm not asking you to understand either. This is just my heart, vomiting its contents out. As I promised on the previous post, right? So, this is it. As promised.

2010-04-22T21:45:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!

I was longing to update this blog but time is just not on my side. Schedule is pretty hectic since exam is coming, it's in two days! So with that being said, you would probably think by now I'd be done revising all those shitty stuffs. Well truth be told, I haven't. That's major bad news for me.

I think every girl in the world should be given the chance to have sex with Adam Lambert. Sorry, that was quite a random thought of mine. Hmm..

I'm sorry my life is not as exciting as yours. I'll be back when my heart wants to vomit its contents out again. I promise you, that won't be that long.

2010-04-22T21:22:00.002+08:00

I'm not prettier than her, not more special than her, not even special to begin with, not even beautiful like her. I don't have that grace that she has, that poise, that look that makes you fall for her hard. I don't have all that. As cliche as this sounds, I'm not perfect. I really am. I can't make you happy all the time and and vice versa. I just.. I don't have anything to offer except for my love. That's all I really have right now, that's the only precious thing that I have and I'm ready to give it to you.

I am. I'm ready if you are. Because it seems like you're not. The vibe I'm picking from you is not right. I don't know. Ugh I hate uncertainty. Lets not play games. Lets just dive in head first and be fearless.

2010-04-03T17:48:00.002+08:00

HEY HUR!

Sorry for abandoning this blog, I really have nothing to say. There isn't any excitement in my life that I share with you guys other than a heap of homework, a couple of new zits (blegh) and a tanner me. Other than that, well..

There is something to be excited, though I can't really say it's exciting. Did I tell you guys that I'll be performing during Bakat Interact this coming 11th April? Well, if I did, I'm telling you again. Heheh. The theme is lame, ugh we were forced by teacher and there is zero chance of winning and ten million chance of humiliating ourselves.

Check out my tumblog and follow my twitter, will you?

xx.

2010-04-03T17:35:00.000+08:00

2010-04-03T17:21:00.000+08:00

2010-04-03T17:15:00.001+08:00

CAUSE I'M SO FLY

2010-03-28T14:57:00.003+08:00

Hey guys! It's quite an awesome week for me. Well not really but still, not bad.

We had Bakat on Thursday, it was okay. I was the judge okay, so like I feel so pressured. The winning group was already expected the minute she open her mouth so moving on..
Bakat's unwrapping just indicates Bakat Interact's coming. I'm performing which is like blegh. WHY? I'm gonna flaunt what my momma and daddy's gene gave me that's fo sure!

Somebody's been causing some unpleasant feeling around us lately. I wish you would stop this, cause it's not good for us. It really is. I don't really like that aura around us so please, for the sake of making this work. I don't think you know but.. hmm. Lets just don't talk about it.

I'll update more cause I'm just so speechless now. xo muax.

2010-03-22T22:49:00.001+08:00

I WAS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND. I AM NOT YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND. I NEVER HAVE BEEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND SO PLEASE STOP CLAIMING THAT YOU ARE/WAS CAUSE WE DIDN'T. DID NOT. NEVER. IT WAS A SILLY CRUSH BETWEEN US TWO SO YEAH.

PLEASE, THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY.

2010-03-21T21:59:00.001+08:00

He sent this to me the other day with the caption, my wallpaper :)

Remember my plan last time? We would buy an apartment. You would buy a car and I would buy a motorcycle(lol). Then we'd only have children when we're over thirty. And we'd sleep together every night and before we sleep, we would watch tv and you would go online. And on weekends we'd go to the beach or something. Go shopping, yeah you. Go play some sports maybe, yeah me. And at night, sex. Right right right? If we're married, we have sex ten times a day also can kan?

-Boyfriend

2010-03-21T21:41:00.001+08:00

Aww memories. I was cute back then ahaks.

Teenage love? Puppy love?

2010-03-17T16:58:00.003+08:00

Hey..

I know I'd get ambushed because of this but lesbians freak the hell out of me. I find same sex relationship weird. I don't want to say 'is there not enough people of the opposite sex of you until you would want to go gay' cause I know love is strong and you can't really help how you feel when love is already there.

Buut these things happen among the teenagers. Now I do not intend to judge but most of the teenagers barely know what love is. It's actually the infatuation that they felt. I'm not saying this specifically, it's a rather general statement.

Notice that I use the term teenagers instead of us, I am a teenager myself but I don't think I fall in that situation enough to use the term us in this post. I do love my boyfriend, I dare say it's not that infatuation bullshit. Hmmm, myabe I'll regret saying this after we break up which whoah palispalis but really, it's real between us two. Hmm.

But I think the weirdest thing is, gays don't freak me. They're like the ultimate people to be with haha no shit. Gag. I think it's because of my sex. If I were a boy, I'd of course be comfortable with lesbians instead of gays, right. Hmm so now my curiosity has been answered.

But still. Same sex relationship freaks me.. Sorry.

2010-03-16T14:41:00.001+08:00

I'm currently at my gramps house here in Sandakan. We rushed here on Saturday afternoon after knowing the passing of my grandma. It was an accident. I was so shocked and cried, which is weird cause I have always have this thought thinking that if my grandma were to die, I'd never cry cause I was never close to her.

I really really want to go home right now. I'm missing extra classes and it ain't good. I miss KK, I miss my boyfriend and also my friends. I'm missing out.. ugh.

DONT OBJECTIFY MEH

2010-03-13T10:37:00.004+08:00

It's ten thirty on a Saturday morning and I'm feeling relaxed, for the first time in forever.

Everybody's being gaga over the new Telephone by Lady Gaga (of course) and Beyonce music video was just premiered last night. I have to say, it's super awesome.

Life has been okay I guess. Things have been improving which is exactly what I need. I cannot afford being down all the time, it's not good. I think the old me is reappearing back, the happy cheerful me.

I met ling for like the third time this year and was I the happiest girl on earth! Had fun, if you know what I'm talking about XD

I'm actually working on a short story now, but I never had time to pursue on it cause of the lack of time, have been concentrating like a mad men on my test. But now it's over and I can route the concentration back to my short story. I also wanna help Maroline write some songs.

I shall write again.

2010-03-03T21:26:00.002+08:00

I want you to know that I'm trying. Yes, it might not be that obvious to you but I just wish you'd get that idea of me trying to approach and trying not to feel embarassed when you turned me down. There's this alliance going on, I can feel that. I don't know what I should feel. Maybe it's just me being to insecure. But I highly doubt it.

Sometimes I feel like not going. Just because of that. What's the point anyway? It's sad seeing the people who I think aren't really my friends treating me better. Maybe I did act shitty to you, maybe I didn't treat you that good before but I'm trying! I really am! How can I make you believe?!

I have gone through 1 awkward year in hell. I don't want to go through that again. It's just that, I'd wake up every morning, determined to fix this thing, and when I try to do that, I'd get alienated, nobody wants to hear or you'll show less enthusiasm. It's hard for me to continue if that's all you will ever give me.

I'm sad. SAD. And everyday, the hateness seems to grow more which is weird because everyday I try harder. Maybe you're annoyed of me, maybe you don't want me to try, maybe you just want me to fuck myself, maybe you want me to mind my own business.

If that's the case then..

CONFESSIONS

2010-02-27T21:29:00.002+08:00

Wow it's been forever since I last update this. I don't think anyone's ever going to read this since everybody's been shifting to Tumblr from Blogger.

And frankly, I actually don't want people to read this, I just want to thrust all my feelings in one place, and Tumblr wouldn't be as suitable since it's public. I didn't want to make a diary cause I was too lazy to write, I thought blogging would be perfect. Nobody would want to visit my blogger now so..

I'm just feeling down lately. Of course nobody would notice, they thought I'm okay and nothing could ever be wrong at this stage of my life. I faked. I hide. I made myself somehow presentable to the public when the truth is I'm not. It's something I could win an Oscar for. I bet Sandra Bullock couldn't do that.

The thing is.. things have been piling up around me. Bad things. To start off, I have a pile, no really a PILE of homeworks waiting to be cared and longed to be touched. I of course have long figured that procrastinating isn't the solution, but I guess I just ignored that fact.

The thing with my family isn't going any better, too. Mum whom I thought would stop her habits of nagging and shouting, still nags and shouts. It's like the only thing she do. As soon as she reaches home from work, she'll shout before she even had the chance to open her shoes and get into the house. If there is a profession, maybe a Bachelor in Nagging, she would undoubtedly excel in it. It's bleaching me both physically and emotionally. I don't even know what's her expectations for us, for me. It kills me not to know.

Dad in another problem. I think he stopped caring. He never wants to know about our updates, things in school, activities and such. I bet he doesn't even remember I'm 16 this year. And there's this smoking problem. I hate people who smoked. I really do. And it's hard seeing your dad, who was supposed to be your hero, your role model, puffing away like nobody's business. It's getting worse, the nicotine had really kicked in and making him addicted and I'm sick worried about his health. He is my dad for god sake! And I bet your dad never threatened to chop you with axe. Well as a matter of fact, mine did. And it was only last month.

Don't make me start with my siblings. As you can see, I can't really look up to my parents and make them my role models. Frankly speaking, I never did. That's just because there is nothing to look up to.

Friends. Oh friends.. Things were a whole lot better in Form 1 and 2. Form 3 was when it all started. Cracks and gaps were obvious, there is no faking there. I am a very insecure girl. Maybe it is because of ME and not them. Maybe I did change. But who was I to know? I can't even see myself without the assistant of a mirror, let alone being alert enough to notice the change that took place in ME.

You can't possibly put all the weight and blame me, right? Truth hurts and truth is, people change. They do. You can't do anything to stop it. I felt like we're drifting apart, some wants to go with that and some wants to go with that. Some do go with me but behind my back they just.. well you know. I'm left alone. Who was I supposed to run to when everybody had a headstart before me?

Boyfriend. My 1 year 5 months boyfriend. Things have been rough lately. It's not like what it used to be back in 2008. Back then.. I couldn't express how happy I was. Sadly speaking, I'm not as happy as I was before. Maybe because we constantly fight over little things that'll soon become big everyday. Maybe it's because of our universe sized egos that took control our hearts. Maybe because we forgot how much we love each other. Maybe jealousy. Maybe. I hate it. I do not want to be in a relationship where you're always fighting nobody wants to lose. Which brings us back to our egos. I don't even know how long will we last. I don't even know how we got this far. It's mostly his patience. I know I'm not the easiest girlfriend to handle, I'm annoying, I did a lot of stuffs that hurted him.

But well. Things happened. All I can do now is fix things. I hope I can. Hope it's not too late. And I hope while I'm busy fixing stuffs around me, I'll be able to fix me.

Notes

2009-11-09T23:13:00.003+08:00

Guyssssssssssss. I'm seriously abandoning my Blogger account since everybody's moving to Tumblr already so if anything, I'll update it there. If you have Tumblr account, just click that FOLLOW button, if you don't, well you're welcomed to read it cause there's no such things as privating your Tumblog so it's pretty much free for everyone to read.

My Tumblr link is here, if you could see the right side bar, there's a few links I provided there. There's Tumblr, Myspace, Twitter and Friendster. Friendster's pretty much dead right now and I barely check it so don't bother adding. Myspace too. I rarely tweet but I check it daily, if you have Twitter account, just click that FOLLOW button.

Okies? Tata. Love you guys lots.

Consideration needed

2009-11-09T22:37:00.001+08:00

I said this to him just now;

Dylan, you had three years already. How long more do you need?

They call it love

2009-11-08T23:21:00.000+08:00

Happy 13 months dear :)

I love birthdays

2009-11-07T09:20:00.002+08:00

7th November only come once a year so to Adrian Wong..

Happy birthday handsome! I have only known you for almost a year ever since you came into our class. I kinda thank Madam Hiew for changing our seating and made us sit together because if that didn’t happen, I don’t think we’d be as close as we are today. And I’d probably still think you’re some racist cinabeng. I want to take this opportunity to make an apology to you for calling you gay and mocking you non-stop. So err happy birthday? Gonna meet you in a few hours also bah, so I might as well stop here and wish you later on.

ps: I’ll still call you gay. Sorry doesn’t mean anything. HAHAHA :P

I love birthdays

2009-11-07T09:17:00.000+08:00

7th November only come once a year so to Sa’idatul Najah..

Happy 15th birthday chica! You’re younger than me by a few weeks but I have always looked up and consider you as my big sister since you’re the biggest among us (in physical and mental) and I’d say the most mature. I still remember our Form 1 days, you’re the first new friend I made in high school. And as far as I can remember, we’ve never had a fight. So just remember that I love you kays! I’m going to your house in a few minutes so again, like Adrian, I might as well wish you face to face :)

Couldn't get off this accent since forever, haha

2009-11-06T18:04:00.001+08:00

I nak ambik kesempatan nie untuk bagitau yang I ♥ Russell Archibald Goh. I don't know what you did to her babe but whatever that was, I think she deserves that.

Ingat tu ye.

3AM1 class party batch 2009

2009-11-06T17:00:00.009+08:00

This is going to be quite a long one..

So if you guys don't know, my class held our class party at Tg Aru Beach on the 31st of October. Sadly, Joyce's flight was on that day too so she couldn't come to the class party, but before she go, we had our last lunch with her at KYC. Photos are down here, there's like 100++ more in Izzat's camera but they are with Dina and I don't think she'll upload it soon. Haha.

LV got bitten by an unidentified insect. That pretty much explains her frowning face.

Our last group hug. I was the one with that yellow FOS bag, squished under Sai and Maroline. Yes, I cried.
Iffa. I'm not sure whther it was a cry or a laugh. Maybe a mixture of both?

Joyce with the boys. If you can see Syahiran's face, he's with the black shirt, our Kelantanese classmate slash our class' treasurer. He looks like a bouncer there.

Outside KYC. From the left, Megan, Iffa, Sai, me and Dylan.

Adrian. I think this is by far his most handsome picture ever. The one yang I can remember la. He's turning 15 tomorrow!

Damn, the wind blew so hard

Me and Iffa

Me and Sai. She too, will turn 15 tomorrow!

Kelvin but he's popular with the name Doggy. He's actually not from 3AM1, he's from 3AC, but he's a good friend and used to be my classmate last year.

Sexaaay ass huh? From the left, Iffa, me, Dina, Dylan. Dylan's got the nicest ass. No wait. Henry got the nicest ass. Kan Maroline? HAHAHA.

That's my hand. I asked Iffa to capture this. Now I kinda get why my classmates labelled me as the HORNY one

Alright. That's the end. To conclude, we had so much fun. Sooooooooooooooo much fun. It was hands down, one of my best days in my entire life. There's a lot of photos again but as I told you, they're still with Dina waiting to be uploaded. I'll update again, perhaps in a more detailed way, so catch out for 3AM1 class party batch 2009 part 2. Hheheheheheheehehehe :)

Awesome day today

2009-11-05T14:16:00.000+08:00

I love you Maroline. Happy 15 years old :)

Somebody's turning 15 tomorrow

2009-11-04T20:33:00.002+08:00

We had this ceramah or should I just say a little briefing about SPM subjects. Ever since I knew about the existence of science stream, I have always liked Biology. It intrigues me I guess. And it seems like everybody wants to drop Prinsip Akaun. I heard that it'll be a burden for science stream students but I'd like to take that challenge. Eseh. No bah. It also seems like only me and Sai are interested in NOT dropping Prinsip Akaun, because we are more interested in learning economy and business ed rather than science related thingy. I mean, I don't even know what I want to be in the future.

I'm not your cliche school girl who have the cliche ambitions like doctor, lawyer, engineer, teacher and all those. None of those work for me. I think I need more time to figure out things in my life. Hmmm, anyways they're gonna brief about Prinsip Akaun this Friday so we'll see if I'm still interested in it.

Class party '09

2009-11-03T20:07:00.002+08:00

Taken at Yacht Club. This got us worrying like hell. We were worried that we couldn't go on with our party plan.

As you can see, our VERY worried face. Dina's face is the funniest for me. Macam merenung masa depan yang hitam. Haha. Maroline pula looks like a lost cowgirl.

Me with Dylan Chia Jet Way (haha no shit his name is really like that, jet way! vooooom!) I really like the name Dylan by the way, but I say the name suits a girl more. As you can see, I was having a little wardrobe malfunction that day. I couldn't wear my dress because you can see my bra == really clearly. Thank GOD Dina brought extra dress (the white one) so I borrowed hers for Joyce's lunch at Yacht Club. We went to the beach after that and I wasn't comfortable with the idea of BBQ-ing with a dress so I borrowed Aaron's LARGE t-shirt, folded Dina's dress, pulled it up until my waist and put on a waist belt to go with it.

Our cook for the day! He and Dina btw. I felt pity for them because they were busy cooking for everybody but they didn't even get the time to cook for themselves. Thank you, dude! You can be a cook in the near future, just in case your plans to major in singing don't work. JUST IN CASE ;p

ps: THERE'S A LOT MORE TO COME. WAITING FOR IZZAT AND DINA TO UPLOAD PHOTOS.

Before anything, I still love you mom and dad

2009-11-02T19:39:00.000+08:00

I didn't even realise November coming. Which then got me realising, my favourite month is over already! So many great things happened, I mean, really. From things at school, things relating friends, things relating my relationship, it all got better on that month. Not forgetting a hell lot of birthdays, I just love October. Now with November coming, I'm already starting to feel the vibe of a bad, bad month. Well except for Maroline, Adrian, Sa'idatul and Valerianne's birthday!

My parents, apparently don't believe in birthdays. For me birthday is a celebration, a special day for you to celebrate with your love ones. My parents on the other hand, are just the exact opposite. For them, birthday is just like any other day, a normal day where nothing should even be celebrated.

Which brought us to.. I DIDN'T GET ANY PRESENT FROM THEM! Truth is, I never really got ANY present from them. Seriously. I know you guys punya parents always buy you stuffs and clothes. And when it comes to money, they're very hesistant when giving it. Not that they couldn't afford it, no, it was never that way. I guess they just don't like spoiling their kids.

I get jealous sometimes seeing my friends when they say 'oh my parents said I could get this and that or this or that if I score in this exam!' or 'oooooohh my parents got me this! love you daddy/mummy!' I don't think you'll ever believe this and I know you guys would think I'm exaggerating but I really did get scolded when I got number 1 in class the other day. I never fall out from top 5 in class ever since I stepped in high school but still I get scolded everytime my parents see my results.

So now if you think you hate your parents right now, THINK AGAIN. Try to see life in a different perspective. Try putting yourself in other shoes (not exactly mine, there are a lot of worse cases than mine) and really, realise that you have been such a lucky child to have been spoiled by them and try to appreciate it.

Birthday post

2009-11-01T21:02:00.011+08:00

It was my birthday! Wee hoo I am officially 15! Thanks for aaalllllllllllllllllllllllll the wishes guys, no matter in school, text messages, phone calls or just through Facebook, I thank you all cause it really mean a lot to me. I had the longest phone call ever, from 1AM-4.30AM and it was with Chie, thank you and I love you lots ♥

I think it was Guru who wished me the first on the 30th and then followed by a phone call by Wesley and then Maroline also called. And a few others :)

Went to school. Did nothing but practice for our little Bakat PMR and chit-chatted. Took funny pictures and spent one of our last moments with Joyce. Took a bus ride to 1B with Aaron, Sau, Adrian and Dina. It was their first time so I was the one to guide them ==

Played bowling. I think Marco won. Or was it Aaron? Ahh nevermind, I didn't know how to play. Went roaming around 1B with my friends. Went to Giant to shop for chicken, lamb and everything for our class party. Imagine 10++ teenagers with RM300++ cash on hand shopping for food. DISASTER. We almost missed the shuttle to Likas. Photos down here. More in FB.

Russell Archibald Goh Joyce Fong Ni Tieng

Marco Isidor Tan Kee Keat

Dina Cyla Danny

Adrian Wong Tze Hoeu

Sa'idatul Najah Ali Mohammad & Law Vuii

Maroline Favius Marcus

Adrian Wong Tze Hoeu AGAIN

Me with Darren Lo Chow Kin, Adrian W and Aaron Yong

Pengemis di canteen. HAHA!

See Sai's face. Emo budu! HAHA.

Overall it was a fantabulous day! I love you guys! Love like seriously love. You guys made my birthday wonderful. It was the best birthday so far.

I don't know what to say anymore

2009-10-29T22:06:00.001+08:00

Just tell la if you don't want. I understand also bah.

Listen to your heart, do you know we should be apart cause I just can't do it

2009-10-27T21:09:00.002+08:00

I was once fair! You just see the difference of my arms/face and my thighs. Thanks to Saidatul for making me obsessed over Chris Brown's Say Goodbye. I've been very busy lately. So many activities going on for these past few days. My birthday is coming in a few days and I'm so excited!

Bitch

2009-10-26T16:16:00.002+08:00

I actually have a lot to say. There's a lot of activities happening around me. I'm less active on Blogger already so if anything, just check my Tumblr account ey?

Our what I like to call 'midnight romance' on the phone from 1AM until 3.30AM settled everything. I still love you.

It's all about you

2009-10-25T16:57:00.002+08:00

25 October only come once a year so,
HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY TO LAW VUII! I LOVE YOU :)

It amazes me how fast we got connected to each other and became a good friend because back then, it was only 'I know you and you might not know me in school' situation. I am thankful that the school did a little filtering in the sorting of the class because if they didn't, I don't think we'll be as close as now. I had fun at your party just now. Don't we, guys? :)

Depressed

2009-10-24T15:00:00.003+08:00

Yes, that was for you. You might be shocked or whatever but yes, that was for you. If you have been alert enough in evaluating your attitude, it's nowhere near shocking. Common sense bah, boy. For your information, I never did like you. NEVER. Why should I like you in the first place? This actually brought us to my previous status the other day, I remember I said I never want to be good to people anymore because they'd step on your head once you started acting that way towards them.

Do what you want la. I don't care anymore.

Never trust skinny people

2009-10-22T22:50:00.002+08:00

OMFG! ZOMG! OH. MY. GOD. TO ALL ADAM LAMBERT’S FANS —> WE ARE ALL IN THE RIGHT TRACK!!

OHMYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! HE’S SO FUCKING HOT. I DON’T GIVE A CHICKEN ABOUT HIS SEXUAL ORIENTATION, SO WHAT IF HE’S GAY, AT LEAST HE’S A SMOKING FUCKING HOT GAY!

PS: The rest of his photoshoot photos are in my Tumblr, if you're a fan of him you might want to check it out

I want you to know

2009-10-22T17:18:00.003+08:00

I'm starting to really love volleyball. Yes, I know I still lack skills but I know how to serve already so that's an improvement. I have always wanted to play volleyball since I was small but I never really had the chance to. Me and Talie did follow SMLY's Volleyball Club when we were in Form 1 but back then, the club weren't that active. I want to take up volleyball seriously. I think I might give this some considerations.

Tomorrow will be going to stadium to practice volleyball. I want to jog, too, cause I didn't get the chance to last week, it was raining constantly. My friends are gonna teach me how to swim tomorrow! I'm very looking forward to that. Darren should follow since he too, doesn't know how to swim. Haha ;P

Look, I get it

2009-10-22T16:38:00.000+08:00

You’re a pretty/cute/beautiful/gorgeous girl in a pretty dress sitting/standing/lying there in a studio/room/field/garden who knows how to apply vintage/faded/cross processing effects in photoshop. Can we move on now?

Glitz

2009-10-20T17:10:00.003+08:00

HOW TO NOT MAKE RUSSELL ARCHIBALD GOH ANGRY

1. This one, uhm I'll just keep it between us ;P
2. Do not keep secrets or hide anything with him
3. The word NEVERMIND is strongly not encourageable
4. Midnight romance makes him happy
5. While I understand that it is the girls nature to have a celebrity or maybe a lot of celebrities crushes but still LOVE their boyfriends, it is best not to adapt this situation with him.

PS: These are all based on my own experiences.
PPS: There aint a lot of stuffs, because it is hard to make him angry.
PPPS: Which is why I love him.

My PCD babe's turned 15 yo!

2009-10-19T20:22:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY TO VIRCILL LIONEL a.k.a VICKAYYHHH. 15 already you, ahah. This photo was taken last year, on October, somewhere around mid-October if I'm not mistaken, forgive me for my face looks weird in that picture. Weeee, can't wait for my turn :)

Midnight romance part 2

2009-10-18T21:33:00.002+08:00

Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson. I wikied her (omg I was THAT bored, okay) and she's a Scorpio too! Like me! Guess what? Her birthday is 5 days before me! Which brings to, her birthday is the same as LV! Now I have another reason to celebrate on this 25th.

I want to be obsessed about somebody. Take Maroline for example. She is obsessed with Taylor Swift. She listens to her songs, she bought her album, and basically Taylor revolves around her life. I want to have that feeling too. But I don't have one just yet, I don't have any preferable artist that makes me want to buy their albums (cause we got other alternative that we call DOWNLOADING, it saves money) cause when I buy somebody's album, that means I loveeeeeeeee them so much. Yeah I love Katy Perry but I just like her in person, not in terms of her songs.

And I just noticed that I like/love almost ALL Beyonce's songs, like really. Especially the latest, Broken-hearted Girl. Ahhh sorry for the lack of contents nowadays, I just don't know what to blog about and I lost my USB wire AGAIN. I'm going to get a new phone. Big chances a C905 :)

No, I don't wanna play that part

2009-10-17T17:37:00.002+08:00

HOW TO STAY MAD AT RUSSELL ARCHIBALD GOH

1. First off, you uhm.. errr, you can start off with err..
2. Nevermind, lets skip that part. Next, you can start uhh, oh shits.
3. Ughh. Maybe you should, ermmm arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
4. Wtfnuisgfvrbijlvn;pas;iohfhbvgfyftrbvgygbvftrhvybvftyv?
5. This ain't looking good yaw.
6. Yjybvyusdbkkvfrmisdjrfydgrfugtzkljdhsncyugrfaukw,ka!